Deeper This Time

I stared upon my broken wings,

Bloodied, shattered, in utter disbelief.
Not again. Deeper, this time.
Despair and emptiness, you’ve found me again.

Moons ago, I soared free,
No master, no chains, unbound by time nor direction.
I felt the breeze, of time that was not mine to have,
Wild at heart, unfazed by the future.
A lion of the skies.

Then you came, and I fell.

A calamity waiting to happen,
A desire longing to be discovered,
You became my sun,
You pulled me in, and I could not escape.
The power of Mars, turned to dust in your spectacle.
You became my gravity.
You kept me grounded, yet you kept me trapped.
Trapped, in this sick and twisted bubble.

I fell faster.

I, of laws of men, rendered silent.
By the simple and regal laws of love.
You impaled me, through and through,
Why did you?

You brought me to the epitome of my dreams,
You took me higher than anything I’ve known,
Even as I was falling.
I floated, in the space of my emotions.
All for you.
But in space, no one hears you scream.

The cold was the last thing I felt, falling.
I did everything to fight it.
In my fighting, I conjured ghosts of you,
Haunting me,
Hurting me,
Happily, devouring me.

Yet through all these, I gazed at those eyes.
Those beautiful eyes, with their own gaze of stone
You told me I was breaking your heart.
Now you have broken mine.

My identity now lost again,
Your insatiable desire for me, halted by miles
I was fooling myself,
For believing I could be your answer
When in fact, I wasn’t even part of your equation.
Your choice, a cowardly choice.

I thought fire needed air,
To burn bright, as your star did.
I wanted to fly to you,
Fly with you.
I wanted to hate you…
Loving you, all I can do.

Such a dragon of a love, defeated.

A Raven of chaos,
Welcomed back by darkness.
Did this owl of passion you speak of,
Even exist in the first place?

And so.

I stared upon my broken wings,
Burnt, ravaged, hopeful.
Again and again. Deeper this time.
In love,
Hope… stolen,
I cannot find you again.

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